Domestic violence was on the front page of every if not most news outlets in 2009 as Chris Brown was arrested for assaulting his then girlfriend, pop singer Rihanna.  Fast forward to 2014 where footage of Ray Rice knocking out his then fiancé now wife Janay Rice and dragging her from an elevator surfaced.  I remember being appalled at how easy it was for people to dismiss the actions of Brown, Rice, and countless others as if men, particularly Black men are not responsible for their actions.  As if women make men abuse us.  I remember being terrified for myself.  Later my daughter.  Friends.  Family.  The notion that a woman had to be the Virgin Mary to be the true victim of DV had (and still has) me sick to my stomach.

Moreover, Black women have to carry the burden of fighting for the rights of our bodies at the very same time we fight to exist in the brown skin we are in. Black women face a disproportionate amount of fatal and nonfatal violence (Violence Policy Center, 2015).  This fact is often not considered an important matter to stand up against due to the toll violence in general takes on Black men. These dual fights are often pitted against each other when we are forced to be silent about the abuse we face in our homes for the sake of the larger community.

When 87% of homicides are intraracial, we can no longer afford to be silent about the violence we face within our own communities.  Black women are far more likely to killed by a spouse, someone she is or was intimately acquainted with, or a family member than by a stranger.  According to the Violence Policy Center, Black women are murdered by men nearly 2 and a half times higher than the rate of white females (2015).

I have decided that I can tie my shoe and think at the same time.  I can march with Black Lives Matter and still demand calls to action about how we are affected by DV within our own communities.  I can love Black men and fight against racial injustice and still want women, Black women in particular to feel and be safe in their homes and relationships.  I can use my voice and skills to stand up against domestic violence all the while standing up against mass incarceration and policy brutality; issues that overwhelmingly affect Black communities.  We don’t have to pick one over the other.  We can’t afford to.

So ask me about DV.